Dear FutureMe,

Hey...I cant believe it has been a decade since your past self wrote this letter. It has been an amazing bumpy ride and trust me it is going to get AM-AZ-ING! 

These 10 years you have lived your life to the fullest. You have starred in a couple of movies that were major box office hits. 

When you were broke, you have even been a fortunate and envied gambler in a Las Vegas club and experienced the high life. 

You have met some not-so-desirable set of characters who would have put a knife in your back (for real) and eliminated you. You were lucky to escape.

You patched up with your estranged sister and promised never to let go of her again. So far you girls have made it through. Although there are times when you want to strangle her but she is the only person who has understood you. 

You broke your relationship with Dan, who was the best thing that happened to you. But good for you, you are more independent now and are living life on your terms.

You are single but you have an amazing career as an investigative journalist/travel writer. Your most precious possession is the Willys 1967 Model 4*4 Diesel Jeep that you bought with your own earnings. 

What you love the most about your jeep is, that you can hop on it within a moment's notice and takes you in the direction the wind blows. 

It is also probably the time to tell your professor that how much he meant to you, back in your post graduate days. He was the mentor that you had been looking for and had never found. It is because of him that you are a hard core newspaper journalist today. 

Its time to gather your guts and shoot him that mail saying how much you have missed his style of teaching and his classes. 

You do have an occasional lonely night here in the middle of the Chihuahuan desert, Mexico but it is nothing a bottle of Smirnoff and the path-breaking stories cannot solve. 

You feel empowered that you can see the changes that are taking place because of your stories. It is an intoxicating feeling in itself. 

You have so much more to achieve and the world is your oyster. The tiny nagging voice in your head that cribs about your imperfections will help you, I promise. It has always had our back and it always will.

Go forth and shine!

Love, 

Past Me

The last few weeks have been quite hectic. What with Tarun Tejpal, the editor of the radical magazine Tehelka getting arrested on sexual assault. The public outrage has been overwhelming. As far as I am concerned, I was heartbroken. This man was supposed to be a messiah who rose above billion of others with his free-thinking and taking a stand against everything that was polluted and corrupt in our country. Oh boy, will there ever be a greater fall? Probably, probably not. Too soon to tell.
Tehelka, till this day, remains my dream job. I don't know if I'll ever make it but well that doesnt stop me from dreaming. At this point I am probably rambling but I swear I am gonna get to my point soon.
Yes, what happened with her was terrible but somehow I just don't have it in my heart to condemn the perpetrator. Mostly cos, he committed an act that has become so common place now. People hardly raise an eyebrow there. Which is why the public backlash took me by surprise.

I knew it wasn't to do with the crime itself. I knew there were other factors at play here. Kafila helped me elucidate my thoughts beautifully. A paragraph in the article read as follows

"That explains to an extent the almost personal animosity that is at display against Tarun Tejpal. Men who may never ever have met him, have had nothing to do with him, are not even regular readers of Tehelka, they all hate him. The woman he assaulted must be wonderstruck at the overwhelming support she has received from these men. But is it about her? I don’t think so. Tejpal, to a certain elite Indian male represents what they could be, what they want to be. He is hated because he generates envy. He has touched the kind of success that a lot of men today desire but fail to achieve. I am aware that my statement will generate a fair amount of anger and I am willing to change my opinion if a more convincing argument is put forward. He is the twin that a lot of men have but never acknowledge."

Simply explained, its the pleasure people (men in this context) derive when the great fall.

The BJP is baying for Tejpal's blood. Fair enough. He did put most of their henchmen/stooges in jail.

What is this crazy blood lust that people have in them to see the high and mighty fall? I know its envy but envy is only part of the answer. As for me I couldnt care less. I don't have it in me to be jealous of Deepika Padukone or Sandra Bullock. I am ambivalent about their success and I couldn't care less if their movies tanked at the box office. 

I should be outraged as a feminist but I can't gather the energy or the inclination to do so. Mostly cos I have been at the recipient of mild unwelcome advances in an office dominated by men.I didnt pay attention to the man in concern and he got the message. Maybe the Tehelka journalist wasn't so lucky. Poor girl.

Bottom line is, it wasn't about the sexual assault. It never is. 

Its been a long long time. Been really busy which is a good thing. Will not apologise for having a RL (real life). 2013 has been one roller-coaster ride. Atleast the way I see it. As an Indian citizen and as a budding journalist.

The present Indian Government is going through a nerve wracking time. Just in case this gets decoded lets call it useless party of affluent idiots. There that's safe now. What I don't understand is where does this party's loyalties lie, apart from themselves?

The scams have hit an all time high, people being called to testified are either crazy old hags who are "too hill" to depose (Dayalu Ammal) and a certain former actress who claims shes a housewife and does not partake in any official functions of one of the players embroiled in the 2G scam.

First glaring flaw that springs to mind is how utterly clueless they are. About the country's poverty line and its sickening how they try to rope in the Planning Commission into fudging numbers and making them appear as if poverty is declining. For your relevance, its "21.9%".  Apparently politicians who were former actors claim they can have a meal at Rs 12 in Mumbai. Really. Did you disembark one stop early when you were heading to Narnia? 

Next, the "heir apparent" has the audacity to declare in a poverty-stricken atmosphere, "Poverty is a state of mind." Saying this in front of an audience who barely can live from hand to mouth is just tactless and in bad taste.  Wonder why they weren't chased out by those people and tarred?

Next, the coal files go missing.  Between 2004-2009 the present party allocated coal blocks to Public Sector entities in a less than legal, inefficient manner instead of competitive bidding. This was reported by the Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) and then they conveniently lose the files. 

They may have tried to redeem themselves by supporting the suspended IAS officer Durga Shakti Nagpal but lost the battle because they desperately needed the Samajwadi Party's votes to pass the Food Security Bill. See how the "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" system works? Fiendishly clever.

Oh how could I forget the rupee fall? Its hilarious how the Finance Minister reacted! This was what the ticker-quotes on CNN-IBN read: "FM assures there is no real concern and no reason to spread pessimism", "India is in a better place than other countries". Right! The other countries being Indonesia and Brazil. Mighty opponents indeed.

Hopefully, we have come to our senses. The country cannot change overnight. Its obviously not a game. But in the same breath,we are the game changers. The opposing politicians think that India is restless for a change. It is, but what does the change look like for us? We might recover our rupee value, but will it be at the cost of a particular community that has ceased to feel safe after a traumatic genocide? Will the Indian Army be less prone to random firing across the LoC? 

Personally I am almost eager to see the outcome of the elections. What will it be? A complacent, indifferent dynasty or an ambitious, almost tyrannical rule or are we heading towards a Syria-like situation?

Dating games

Well, its that time of the month again...nope it's not what you think. Its time to make my readers read another of my wacky posts. Well, today its going to be slightly personal. It's basically those gender wars that we keep hearing about or watching. It has reached the saturation level of my tolerance and hence am lashing out. I will try to be fair, but quite frankly this is one place I want to unabashedly biased. Its MY blog....deal with it.
I won't tell you when this so called war between the sexes started...cos frankly its been around since the time of the early civilizations. But there has been change since the 1960s....may be earlier too, but I am not aware of that. Personally I remember the "Liberation" because I find that bra-burning concept really fascinating {Lol...me and my perverted mind ;-)}.

Irrespective of what people (Men) say, they still make the mistake of assuming that women are the fairer (weaker) sex. Even today, strong women are labelled as "bitches" or tagged with adjectives like "obstinate", "stubborn", "independent" (yup, they can make it sound like a negative quality). I am way past the initial anger and indignation that accompanies the sexist jokes and I really think its high time I did my bit for my "gender"; the dreaded G-word.

However I must make my stand really clear. I am not overly fond of either men or women. I have been shunned by one side and plain rejected by the other. take your pick, which side has done what. I was on the phone with my friend last night and we kinda got into a debate about the games when and women play when it comes to dating. I told him, guys can and do fake feelings to get into a woman's pant. Pretty much do everything else too to convince girls that they are worthy of their time, energy and heaven between our legs. So, its high time we give it back to them. A girl I know does the opposite. When she is not in a relationship, she hooks up with guys and lead them into thinking that they will get sex...and BAM! When the moment comes upon her, she changes her mind. To some people, this is cruel but her reasoning is since men are dogs, they needed to be treated like that...with the promise of sex as a bait. She is really clear about what SHE wants. She wants to hook up but she will not do it with a guy unless she really really wants him. She is not technically a player but she does it just for the fun and exhilaration of it; the adrenalin rush, if you will.

She says its basically payback to all the guys who rejected her when she put herself out there. I have had my share of rejections too, but in my saner moments, she scares the fuck outta me. that girl reminds me of that Sunaina chick in "7 khoon maaf", just a little less intense.  I still think she is NUTS! But I can't really do anything about it. I love her. She confuses me, annoys me, contradicts me, threatens to steal my sanity, but she is a part of my soul. She is my yin to my yang (whatever that means..LOL).

She gets called a mad slut by the people who know her (mostly guys) but they love her. They know that beneath her cold-hearted exterior, beats a warm heart that she chooses to show selected few around her. Sorry, guess i got kinda carried away. What I really wanted to say is that its high time these double standards were done away with. Men's weird obsession with "homely" girls. Trust me, girls who have been out there are way more honest than these homely girls. Homely girls are seldom honest, play weird mental games and are BORING!

When women dont have a problem with the number of girls their men have been with, why should men have a problem with our score cards? Whatever. Its history anyways. just live and let live. And please just FYI, "Because you are a woman" excuse is SO passe! 

Twists and turns

I have been wanting to update my blog from a really long time. But the topic does need to be perfect or else there is no point. On the other hand, sometimes talking about nothing ALSO helps. Kinda like he Pensieve in the Harry Potter franchise. For all those Harry Potter ignorant out there (no offense meant) it is a big bowl of plasmatic substance in which you can take your thoughts (yup…you read it right! Thoughts!!) and place them in the bowl. To be honest, we all need one of these babies to keep ourselves mentally healthy!

A lot has changed since the last time I updated my “Life”. Mostly involving all those nameless and insignificant guys I hooked up with. Blah! Not in the least bit interesting. I worry about myself sometimes. Where will I be 5 years from now and all those questions I have deemed boring. To be honest, the future scares me for sure but I realize there is not a lot we CAN do about it in spite of taking steps to DEFINE it. There are very of us who do manage to become what they had intended to become in the first place.

For instance, when I was in my 6^th grade, I knew I wanted to be an archaeologist. But well it just wasn’t meant to be. That was my fault. I was too lazy to study for one of my qualifying exams. Next was Law. I just DID NOT make the cut that our country’s future aspiring lawyers required. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself to be a lawyer. It’s funny how the dice shaping your life or career just falls into place. And now I realize it. All my failures made me realize my calling in life. I can be nothing BUT a journalist. That is my true calling. And you know what? I can’t wait to start and be a thumping good journo! I‘ll get to travel the country, meet people, make a difference and really make my mark! May turn out to be like Robin Schbertasky! Who knows? One day I might even be a travel journalist and go around the world!

It won’t be easy but I think I’ll get there! I have faith in myself. Nobody knows the future and those people who do are just kidding themselves. Let tomorrow come. I’ll be there to face it head on :D

And all you people out there, who think your life is over...nope! it is so NOT! Give yourselves a makeover in every aspect. You will never know what pieces of diamond you may find! As John Lennon once said:

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

India-my love

Hey am back again....after a very low key Valentine celebration in which I lit a couple of candles and remembered my beloved who passed away in 1980, gunned down by a homicidal maniac.
Anyway, today's post is about the bomb blasts which took place in Pune on Saturday, the 13th of february. You know, what they say, that you don't feel the impact until it hits you in a direct or an indirect way...I am not revealing any details but this blast has affected me at a very personal level. Also it has opened my eyes to some hard truths about my beloved country, which I had taken for granted all these years. And here the truth: The mother India we knew and loved till now doesn't really exist. It is, in reality, a castrated India; not a man, not a female. Once again our leaders have shown the depths of their impotency! The classic line I came across is: "talks won't be stalled in the face of the blasts" or something along these lines! I know, I am not the first person to scream out loud, saying stuff like "sarkar murdabad" and etc. but I know somewhere it is justified! I have always looked down upon people who took to streets screaming slogans, but now I realised the extent of frustration that pushed them over the edge.
You know, what is the most frustrating thing of all? Actually, there are millions of things but the first and the foresmost thing, is, how we as a nation react to these attacks! Just because we have been taught the art of Non-violence or otherwise known as plain cowardice(courtsey, me!) doesn't mean we still, follow these ideals. Violence can only be countered with violence. I am in no mood for reconciliation. Probably I am biased, but I can't be impartial while my country burns!!!!!
Secondly, a couple of months ago, one of the terrorist outfits (can't remember the God-forsaken name) released a clipping saying they'll attack Pune, Delhi or Kanpur and what did our God-fearing pious First Lady and her gang of imbeciles did? They didnt even share the video. The clipping which would probably saved few 50 people was conveniently discarded. i wonder why? Hmmm....probably the dates clashed with our Lady's jaagran dates and obviously, how could she miss that stupid jaagran, offered in the name of an entity, who let this happen in the first place!!!!! I am a convert- a recent believer, whose faith has been sorely tested...How and why can people in such situations, believe in their Protector? And for people like me, for whom, skepticism doesn't come too hard, God really needs to work on His First impression skills!
Thirdly, why? There are a million whys....why must we always be targetted, why should we writhe under this feeling of inadequacy of our leaders, why should we be humiliated time and again in the eyes of the rest of the world, why doesn't the US ever support us, though we make up the 70% of their work-force....and one 'would'. Would another country taken the same stand, as we have been taking since 1947?
pakistan and India should be blood brothers. We have been through the terror and trauma of colonialism and we know the pain of seperation. And its not like the citizens of Pakistan want this bloodshed. Indians who have been to Pakistan have come back with glowing reviews that it is a beautiful place and people are warm; and especially extremely cordial to Indians. Like this popular song from Veer-Zara, a movie that dealt with India-Pakistan relations, one line went, "Tere des ko maine dekha, tere des ko maine jaana....jaane kyun lagta hai, mujhko jaana, pehchana". Loosely translated, this mean, I saw your country, I know your country, why does it seem so familiar. Which was sung by the heroine who was from Pakistan. The message is so hard to miss..... and so beautiful
To conclude, I would say, its high time we changed our way of dealing with attacks. We should tell our opponents that India cannot be brought under the thumb of smaller countries. Force will be met with force and civil talks will happen; but our reaction will correspond to the way we feel as a nation; not whats convenient for the top imbeciles of our country! Are you with me, my India?

whatever

Well, am back...after a couple of days. Hopefully, the standard of my post will improve as I sail past through this one. I am too upset to be mindful of my unforgivable grammatical errors. Today, I am just going to narrate a story of a girl and the men in her life....ooh sounds very interesting doesnt it? Well its not! I believe this girl may have the makings of No'elle Paige, the heroine of "The other side of midnight", a famous novel by Sidney Sheldon, where she spends half her life falling in love and then plotting and winning her love back! Well, there is a slight twist in this girl's story. She falls in love and they reciprocate.....atleast they pretend to, till the time they find a more "feminine" girl, one who is trained in the art of trapping clueless, hapless men and men being none the wiser! No matter how much they say, they are smart when it comes to understanding girls, they still fall for all the tricks. All these men in this girl's life have made love to her, trapped her and just left her on her own to fend on her own. Now she has reached a point where she cannot trust any man because she knows what exactly their intentions are. No matter how much one particular man professes his love for her, she knows he is also, somewhere lying and this is not some womanly instinct... she has proof, that he has lied to her.
But the best part is she doesn't care if he has been speaking to her sworn enemies behind her back, even though its the betrayal of the first order. But she can't expect him to understand how much she hates those girl....the point is he lied. And thats where she thinks that the one year they have spent "talking" online is a lie! She hates being lied to, more than being used and she is no stranger to being used....she knows to use others , she has to be used as well. Doesn't really make the process more simple, just makes it bearable.
Well, this is the part where I say, one day she will find her man; someone who will love her and just feel how lucky he is to have her in his life....and etc. etc.
But what if her happy ending is one in which there is no-one in it? She is terrified to her soul but she'll have the strength to bear it!