Dear FutureMe,

Hey...I cant believe it has been a decade since your past self wrote this letter. It has been an amazing bumpy ride and trust me it is going to get AM-AZ-ING! 

These 10 years you have lived your life to the fullest. You have starred in a couple of movies that were major box office hits. 

When you were broke, you have even been a fortunate and envied gambler in a Las Vegas club and experienced the high life. 

You have met some not-so-desirable set of characters who would have put a knife in your back (for real) and eliminated you. You were lucky to escape.

You patched up with your estranged sister and promised never to let go of her again. So far you girls have made it through. Although there are times when you want to strangle her but she is the only person who has understood you. 

You broke your relationship with Dan, who was the best thing that happened to you. But good for you, you are more independent now and are living life on your terms.

You are single but you have an amazing career as an investigative journalist/travel writer. Your most precious possession is the Willys 1967 Model 4*4 Diesel Jeep that you bought with your own earnings. 

What you love the most about your jeep is, that you can hop on it within a moment's notice and takes you in the direction the wind blows. 

It is also probably the time to tell your professor that how much he meant to you, back in your post graduate days. He was the mentor that you had been looking for and had never found. It is because of him that you are a hard core newspaper journalist today. 

Its time to gather your guts and shoot him that mail saying how much you have missed his style of teaching and his classes. 

You do have an occasional lonely night here in the middle of the Chihuahuan desert, Mexico but it is nothing a bottle of Smirnoff and the path-breaking stories cannot solve. 

You feel empowered that you can see the changes that are taking place because of your stories. It is an intoxicating feeling in itself. 

You have so much more to achieve and the world is your oyster. The tiny nagging voice in your head that cribs about your imperfections will help you, I promise. It has always had our back and it always will.

Go forth and shine!

Love, 

Past Me

The last few weeks have been quite hectic. What with Tarun Tejpal, the editor of the radical magazine Tehelka getting arrested on sexual assault. The public outrage has been overwhelming. As far as I am concerned, I was heartbroken. This man was supposed to be a messiah who rose above billion of others with his free-thinking and taking a stand against everything that was polluted and corrupt in our country. Oh boy, will there ever be a greater fall? Probably, probably not. Too soon to tell.
Tehelka, till this day, remains my dream job. I don't know if I'll ever make it but well that doesnt stop me from dreaming. At this point I am probably rambling but I swear I am gonna get to my point soon.
Yes, what happened with her was terrible but somehow I just don't have it in my heart to condemn the perpetrator. Mostly cos, he committed an act that has become so common place now. People hardly raise an eyebrow there. Which is why the public backlash took me by surprise.

I knew it wasn't to do with the crime itself. I knew there were other factors at play here. Kafila helped me elucidate my thoughts beautifully. A paragraph in the article read as follows

"That explains to an extent the almost personal animosity that is at display against Tarun Tejpal. Men who may never ever have met him, have had nothing to do with him, are not even regular readers of Tehelka, they all hate him. The woman he assaulted must be wonderstruck at the overwhelming support she has received from these men. But is it about her? I don’t think so. Tejpal, to a certain elite Indian male represents what they could be, what they want to be. He is hated because he generates envy. He has touched the kind of success that a lot of men today desire but fail to achieve. I am aware that my statement will generate a fair amount of anger and I am willing to change my opinion if a more convincing argument is put forward. He is the twin that a lot of men have but never acknowledge."

Simply explained, its the pleasure people (men in this context) derive when the great fall.

The BJP is baying for Tejpal's blood. Fair enough. He did put most of their henchmen/stooges in jail.

What is this crazy blood lust that people have in them to see the high and mighty fall? I know its envy but envy is only part of the answer. As for me I couldnt care less. I don't have it in me to be jealous of Deepika Padukone or Sandra Bullock. I am ambivalent about their success and I couldn't care less if their movies tanked at the box office. 

I should be outraged as a feminist but I can't gather the energy or the inclination to do so. Mostly cos I have been at the recipient of mild unwelcome advances in an office dominated by men.I didnt pay attention to the man in concern and he got the message. Maybe the Tehelka journalist wasn't so lucky. Poor girl.

Bottom line is, it wasn't about the sexual assault. It never is. 

Its been a long long time. Been really busy which is a good thing. Will not apologise for having a RL (real life). 2013 has been one roller-coaster ride. Atleast the way I see it. As an Indian citizen and as a budding journalist.

The present Indian Government is going through a nerve wracking time. Just in case this gets decoded lets call it useless party of affluent idiots. There that's safe now. What I don't understand is where does this party's loyalties lie, apart from themselves?

The scams have hit an all time high, people being called to testified are either crazy old hags who are "too hill" to depose (Dayalu Ammal) and a certain former actress who claims shes a housewife and does not partake in any official functions of one of the players embroiled in the 2G scam.

First glaring flaw that springs to mind is how utterly clueless they are. About the country's poverty line and its sickening how they try to rope in the Planning Commission into fudging numbers and making them appear as if poverty is declining. For your relevance, its "21.9%".  Apparently politicians who were former actors claim they can have a meal at Rs 12 in Mumbai. Really. Did you disembark one stop early when you were heading to Narnia? 

Next, the "heir apparent" has the audacity to declare in a poverty-stricken atmosphere, "Poverty is a state of mind." Saying this in front of an audience who barely can live from hand to mouth is just tactless and in bad taste.  Wonder why they weren't chased out by those people and tarred?

Next, the coal files go missing.  Between 2004-2009 the present party allocated coal blocks to Public Sector entities in a less than legal, inefficient manner instead of competitive bidding. This was reported by the Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) and then they conveniently lose the files. 

They may have tried to redeem themselves by supporting the suspended IAS officer Durga Shakti Nagpal but lost the battle because they desperately needed the Samajwadi Party's votes to pass the Food Security Bill. See how the "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" system works? Fiendishly clever.

Oh how could I forget the rupee fall? Its hilarious how the Finance Minister reacted! This was what the ticker-quotes on CNN-IBN read: "FM assures there is no real concern and no reason to spread pessimism", "India is in a better place than other countries". Right! The other countries being Indonesia and Brazil. Mighty opponents indeed.

Hopefully, we have come to our senses. The country cannot change overnight. Its obviously not a game. But in the same breath,we are the game changers. The opposing politicians think that India is restless for a change. It is, but what does the change look like for us? We might recover our rupee value, but will it be at the cost of a particular community that has ceased to feel safe after a traumatic genocide? Will the Indian Army be less prone to random firing across the LoC? 

Personally I am almost eager to see the outcome of the elections. What will it be? A complacent, indifferent dynasty or an ambitious, almost tyrannical rule or are we heading towards a Syria-like situation?

Dating games

Well, its that time of the month again...nope it's not what you think. Its time to make my readers read another of my wacky posts. Well, today its going to be slightly personal. It's basically those gender wars that we keep hearing about or watching. It has reached the saturation level of my tolerance and hence am lashing out. I will try to be fair, but quite frankly this is one place I want to unabashedly biased. Its MY blog....deal with it.
I won't tell you when this so called war between the sexes started...cos frankly its been around since the time of the early civilizations. But there has been change since the 1960s....may be earlier too, but I am not aware of that. Personally I remember the "Liberation" because I find that bra-burning concept really fascinating {Lol...me and my perverted mind ;-)}.

Irrespective of what people (Men) say, they still make the mistake of assuming that women are the fairer (weaker) sex. Even today, strong women are labelled as "bitches" or tagged with adjectives like "obstinate", "stubborn", "independent" (yup, they can make it sound like a negative quality). I am way past the initial anger and indignation that accompanies the sexist jokes and I really think its high time I did my bit for my "gender"; the dreaded G-word.

However I must make my stand really clear. I am not overly fond of either men or women. I have been shunned by one side and plain rejected by the other. take your pick, which side has done what. I was on the phone with my friend last night and we kinda got into a debate about the games when and women play when it comes to dating. I told him, guys can and do fake feelings to get into a woman's pant. Pretty much do everything else too to convince girls that they are worthy of their time, energy and heaven between our legs. So, its high time we give it back to them. A girl I know does the opposite. When she is not in a relationship, she hooks up with guys and lead them into thinking that they will get sex...and BAM! When the moment comes upon her, she changes her mind. To some people, this is cruel but her reasoning is since men are dogs, they needed to be treated like that...with the promise of sex as a bait. She is really clear about what SHE wants. She wants to hook up but she will not do it with a guy unless she really really wants him. She is not technically a player but she does it just for the fun and exhilaration of it; the adrenalin rush, if you will.

She says its basically payback to all the guys who rejected her when she put herself out there. I have had my share of rejections too, but in my saner moments, she scares the fuck outta me. that girl reminds me of that Sunaina chick in "7 khoon maaf", just a little less intense.  I still think she is NUTS! But I can't really do anything about it. I love her. She confuses me, annoys me, contradicts me, threatens to steal my sanity, but she is a part of my soul. She is my yin to my yang (whatever that means..LOL).

She gets called a mad slut by the people who know her (mostly guys) but they love her. They know that beneath her cold-hearted exterior, beats a warm heart that she chooses to show selected few around her. Sorry, guess i got kinda carried away. What I really wanted to say is that its high time these double standards were done away with. Men's weird obsession with "homely" girls. Trust me, girls who have been out there are way more honest than these homely girls. Homely girls are seldom honest, play weird mental games and are BORING!

When women dont have a problem with the number of girls their men have been with, why should men have a problem with our score cards? Whatever. Its history anyways. just live and let live. And please just FYI, "Because you are a woman" excuse is SO passe! 

Twists and turns

I have been wanting to update my blog from a really long time. But the topic does need to be perfect or else there is no point. On the other hand, sometimes talking about nothing ALSO helps. Kinda like he Pensieve in the Harry Potter franchise. For all those Harry Potter ignorant out there (no offense meant) it is a big bowl of plasmatic substance in which you can take your thoughts (yup…you read it right! Thoughts!!) and place them in the bowl. To be honest, we all need one of these babies to keep ourselves mentally healthy!

A lot has changed since the last time I updated my “Life”. Mostly involving all those nameless and insignificant guys I hooked up with. Blah! Not in the least bit interesting. I worry about myself sometimes. Where will I be 5 years from now and all those questions I have deemed boring. To be honest, the future scares me for sure but I realize there is not a lot we CAN do about it in spite of taking steps to DEFINE it. There are very of us who do manage to become what they had intended to become in the first place.

For instance, when I was in my 6^th grade, I knew I wanted to be an archaeologist. But well it just wasn’t meant to be. That was my fault. I was too lazy to study for one of my qualifying exams. Next was Law. I just DID NOT make the cut that our country’s future aspiring lawyers required. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself to be a lawyer. It’s funny how the dice shaping your life or career just falls into place. And now I realize it. All my failures made me realize my calling in life. I can be nothing BUT a journalist. That is my true calling. And you know what? I can’t wait to start and be a thumping good journo! I‘ll get to travel the country, meet people, make a difference and really make my mark! May turn out to be like Robin Schbertasky! Who knows? One day I might even be a travel journalist and go around the world!

It won’t be easy but I think I’ll get there! I have faith in myself. Nobody knows the future and those people who do are just kidding themselves. Let tomorrow come. I’ll be there to face it head on :D

And all you people out there, who think your life is over...nope! it is so NOT! Give yourselves a makeover in every aspect. You will never know what pieces of diamond you may find! As John Lennon once said:

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

India-my love

Hey am back again....after a very low key Valentine celebration in which I lit a couple of candles and remembered my beloved who passed away in 1980, gunned down by a homicidal maniac.
Anyway, today's post is about the bomb blasts which took place in Pune on Saturday, the 13th of february. You know, what they say, that you don't feel the impact until it hits you in a direct or an indirect way...I am not revealing any details but this blast has affected me at a very personal level. Also it has opened my eyes to some hard truths about my beloved country, which I had taken for granted all these years. And here the truth: The mother India we knew and loved till now doesn't really exist. It is, in reality, a castrated India; not a man, not a female. Once again our leaders have shown the depths of their impotency! The classic line I came across is: "talks won't be stalled in the face of the blasts" or something along these lines! I know, I am not the first person to scream out loud, saying stuff like "sarkar murdabad" and etc. but I know somewhere it is justified! I have always looked down upon people who took to streets screaming slogans, but now I realised the extent of frustration that pushed them over the edge.
You know, what is the most frustrating thing of all? Actually, there are millions of things but the first and the foresmost thing, is, how we as a nation react to these attacks! Just because we have been taught the art of Non-violence or otherwise known as plain cowardice(courtsey, me!) doesn't mean we still, follow these ideals. Violence can only be countered with violence. I am in no mood for reconciliation. Probably I am biased, but I can't be impartial while my country burns!!!!!
Secondly, a couple of months ago, one of the terrorist outfits (can't remember the God-forsaken name) released a clipping saying they'll attack Pune, Delhi or Kanpur and what did our God-fearing pious First Lady and her gang of imbeciles did? They didnt even share the video. The clipping which would probably saved few 50 people was conveniently discarded. i wonder why? Hmmm....probably the dates clashed with our Lady's jaagran dates and obviously, how could she miss that stupid jaagran, offered in the name of an entity, who let this happen in the first place!!!!! I am a convert- a recent believer, whose faith has been sorely tested...How and why can people in such situations, believe in their Protector? And for people like me, for whom, skepticism doesn't come too hard, God really needs to work on His First impression skills!
Thirdly, why? There are a million whys....why must we always be targetted, why should we writhe under this feeling of inadequacy of our leaders, why should we be humiliated time and again in the eyes of the rest of the world, why doesn't the US ever support us, though we make up the 70% of their work-force....and one 'would'. Would another country taken the same stand, as we have been taking since 1947?
pakistan and India should be blood brothers. We have been through the terror and trauma of colonialism and we know the pain of seperation. And its not like the citizens of Pakistan want this bloodshed. Indians who have been to Pakistan have come back with glowing reviews that it is a beautiful place and people are warm; and especially extremely cordial to Indians. Like this popular song from Veer-Zara, a movie that dealt with India-Pakistan relations, one line went, "Tere des ko maine dekha, tere des ko maine jaana....jaane kyun lagta hai, mujhko jaana, pehchana". Loosely translated, this mean, I saw your country, I know your country, why does it seem so familiar. Which was sung by the heroine who was from Pakistan. The message is so hard to miss..... and so beautiful
To conclude, I would say, its high time we changed our way of dealing with attacks. We should tell our opponents that India cannot be brought under the thumb of smaller countries. Force will be met with force and civil talks will happen; but our reaction will correspond to the way we feel as a nation; not whats convenient for the top imbeciles of our country! Are you with me, my India?

whatever

Well, am back...after a couple of days. Hopefully, the standard of my post will improve as I sail past through this one. I am too upset to be mindful of my unforgivable grammatical errors. Today, I am just going to narrate a story of a girl and the men in her life....ooh sounds very interesting doesnt it? Well its not! I believe this girl may have the makings of No'elle Paige, the heroine of "The other side of midnight", a famous novel by Sidney Sheldon, where she spends half her life falling in love and then plotting and winning her love back! Well, there is a slight twist in this girl's story. She falls in love and they reciprocate.....atleast they pretend to, till the time they find a more "feminine" girl, one who is trained in the art of trapping clueless, hapless men and men being none the wiser! No matter how much they say, they are smart when it comes to understanding girls, they still fall for all the tricks. All these men in this girl's life have made love to her, trapped her and just left her on her own to fend on her own. Now she has reached a point where she cannot trust any man because she knows what exactly their intentions are. No matter how much one particular man professes his love for her, she knows he is also, somewhere lying and this is not some womanly instinct... she has proof, that he has lied to her.
But the best part is she doesn't care if he has been speaking to her sworn enemies behind her back, even though its the betrayal of the first order. But she can't expect him to understand how much she hates those girl....the point is he lied. And thats where she thinks that the one year they have spent "talking" online is a lie! She hates being lied to, more than being used and she is no stranger to being used....she knows to use others , she has to be used as well. Doesn't really make the process more simple, just makes it bearable.
Well, this is the part where I say, one day she will find her man; someone who will love her and just feel how lucky he is to have her in his life....and etc. etc.
But what if her happy ending is one in which there is no-one in it? She is terrified to her soul but she'll have the strength to bear it!

Hello, everyone...this post is going to be a bit different from the others. To see how, read on:
Well, the first and foremost thing is this blog is going to be about this really great friend of mine who has some weird issues with life!! Imagine that! Anyways, this female has been going through a lotta shit since the last two months and is practically nearing an emotional breakdown!! Nope, sorry can't mention her name. Hell, she doesn't even know am writing this...She would kill me!!
The thing is, for the last one month she's lost. No, I don't mean, lost her way to the hostel and is lying in some jungle hungry and scared( like Hansel and Gretel)!! That would be too fairy-tale like!! Anyways, first she gave up something she liked; well she thought she liked and that was the beginning of her nemesis. Then her friends started dumping on her in the name of 'ragging' and having fun at her expense(crazy reason to take one's life, don't you think so!!) and one of them has been grilling her to make her realize her own true self; he did it for her good but now she's shocked at herself...She has thought about this a lot( she thinks a lot and no matter what the circumstance, that's one thing no-one can take away from her; apart from her self-respect) and she is really scared... of discovering herself!! She is paranoid that she will find herself to be no different from Them; the conformists!! I tell her that, no way is she gonna end up like them, you can't suddenly join the society after being an outcast for 15 years!! It's not humanely possible!! And she what do I receive after all my advice?? A tight punch and whole map of suicidal plans!! Imagine that. So, here I am, holding my bleeding nose and wounded dignity trying to figure out how to stop that chick from taking her own life!!
Someone, please call 911!!
Till now, I thought she had it all figured out about what sort of a woman she wanted to be; balanced and whole. But after these few days, its made me realize that nothing and I mean nothing ever works out the way we want it to... But I really don't think suicide is the answer. It just makes you think that the other person was not strong enough to handle life.
But what if the person has seen enough and cannot take it anymore?? Is suicide justifiable in that case??

Guru-Sishya parampara

Well...forgive the old 'traditional' title but the title best describes my state of feeling. You have to read my post and not my title so anyways, here goes:
I was wondering about this whole aspect of teacher-student relationship. How it used to be and how it has changed over the years and stuff... So, I was analyzing and I reached this conclusion that, unfortunately students of today have minuscule respect for their teachers or rather this has been the case ever since everything was 'Americanized'.God! How I hate that term, but that's how it is!! Nowadays students in colleges especially have no idea where to draw the line! if there is something that burns me up, that is sources of knowledge being abused! Sources of knowledge also happen to include teachers....a fact, sadly, many of my peers ignore.
In the good old days, teachers were equal to God; a man or a woman who could do no wrong, and their duty solely consisted of imparting education to the shishya and at the end of their education(students), they were paid a dakshina; a fee as a sign of gratitude which could be either cash or kind or in some cases, thumbs! I am sure you all are familiar with the story of Eklavya and Dronacharya, wherein the former cut out his thumb and gifted it to Drona....
Nowadays, with the coming of globalisation and a second wave of information technology renaissance, teachers have lost their earlier position. Teachers are a mere formality now, in today's educational system, just clinging to a by-gone era. Teachers in schools and colleges are given subjects, which have no relevance to their degrees.
Coming back to teacher-student relationship, contrary to before, students think teachers are like some quality paid for goods; much like the way we assume, because we pay income tax, the roads should be constructed properly. Which is not a wrong thing to expect, but therein lies the difference. Just because you paid your college and school fees, doesn't mean you can take the authority for granted. There is a decorum to be maintained. What a teacher does in his personal life is his business; students DO NOT have the right to question his integrity.
In schools for instance, there are these teachers feedback form, with which students play dirty politics. When they vote a teacher as the "favorite teacher", it doesnt mean, he is liked by them, it just means he can be manipulated around....wow, such is the irony of life!
In these cases, sometimes I thank God that there are rural people to equalise this sin....the students in the rural areas are far far better human beings than their urban counterparts. Well, I believe in the cycle of karma. I believe that, the mistakes these students have made by ridiculing their gurus, will one day come back to them!

Hey, it's me again!! Last time, we met I was all about how we should open our minds and discover new things! But you know, sometimes actually most of the time its not a bed of roses!! In fact its never a bed of roses... When we enter our teens we seem to have an idealistic view of the world outside; I know all of us at some point of time have dreamed of the perfect life; the perfect friends, the perfect school life, the perfect college life....blah, blah, blah!! But you know, its seldom like that. yes, I know you guys out there will say "Well thanks for telling us something all of us know", or something on those lines but you know no-one really accepts it. I mean, when I said open your minds, I just didn't mean that discover new things, I also meant take in the reality around us... The fact that NOTHING's EVER PERFECT!! But then, life is never perfect. Then it wouldn't be life! It would be heaven!!( BTW, parents may object to this... including my own; don't let them tell you any thing different!!) Times have changed...
ok, people who already knew this, great!! But the rest of the populace who were wearing the rose-tinted glasses, sorry to smash your illusions but you needed it...
What i am trying to say is people WAKE UP!!! Stop wishing for that ideal life. But you can get something similar. No, I don't mean, clone your lives.. That will be the height of stupidity, though I'll deal with that some other time!! I mean, we can make it happen. Though its tough to believe after that blizzard of negativity, i am sure we can do it. All we need is a little bit of hope. Theres this really cynical friend of mine, who believes hope, is just a waste of time and a refuge for fools(myself included!!) but i don't believe it. I think we can achieve anything with hope and patience( though that s a tornado struck area with me; as far as patience is concerned: patience and I have an ongoing family feud which won't burn out in years to come)
Anyways, getting back, I believe that we can make it happen!! Are you guys with me??
Oh yeah: Caution: objectionable content; to be kept away from parents; you see, I am doing it to save my ass. If tomorrow my writings become the cause of a family feud, I don't want to be boycotted!!

I am a student of Journalism and to tell the truth by nature, I am a really blunt person. I don't possess the art of softening my words unless it's under extreme pressure. So, lately I have realised that my field which is supposed to be a medium through which people are supposed to know the truth, doesn't work that way at all. Don't veterans understand that truth is after all THE TRUTH and that there is no alternative to it???? How can we blind people to hard facts and wrap them in cotton-wool??? How dare we do that?? How dare we snatch people's right to knowledge?? It's disgraceful!!

I hope my generation will buck up and stand up to the system which propogates lies, deceit and falsehood which people are used to...Please guys wake up ...

I know it sounds insane but please let's give it a shot!! We have nothing to lose( maybe except our jobs)... I know I can't survive under this policy of softening and moulding...

WAR: Just these three letters are enough to cause mayhem and panic amongst people. The dictionary defines war as:"the waging of armed conflict against an enemy". What I wish to know is on one hand there are "human beings" who define war in hateful words in dictionaries, is it possible that the other members of the same species go around killing each other??? Who has given these people the authority to take a human life??? This may make me sound preachy but what right do we have to take a life when we can't replace one?... Okay, leaving aside, the destruction of human life what about the resources and monetary wastage that takes wealth. Seeing the uneven distribution of wealth; not only in India but world over, how can the rich and the powerful allow this Godlessness to continue??? This is a typical Grade-school moral teacher question!! What do I mean-"how can they"? They already have done it and will continue doing it... theres no stopping them... Theres a line from Spiderman which has till date continued to fascinate me..." Freedom is equal to responsibility." Its so true... So, while the R&P are "free" to do what they like, they should also take care of the repercussions. I say "free" in inverted commas because I believe they are not completely free. they just think they are. To tell the truth, somewhere deep down all of us are scared; scared to be free... It sounds ridiculous but it is true. How can, you say we in this 20th century be scared? Colonialism and slavery are no longer there. But thats what we think. Freedom is not just not being suppressed physically or a nation ruling over another. Its about being free as a soul. Tht's where we make a mistake. Just because no external power is not ruling us doesn't mean we are completely free. We are ruled internally. We are still afraid to test our boundaries. Because unconsciously we still believe that the Earth is flat and if we keep walking we will fall off the face of earth. We need to give it a shot and test our boundaries... Be prepared though, its gonna hurt a lot... actually more like falling off a bicycle and if we remember correctly it didn't hurt more than 2 mins. We just need to grit our teeth and push forward.

So have fun!! People, happy discovery!!!